As a mom of four living in France, I’ve had the incredible privilege of hosting over eight au pairs from around the globe, welcoming their cultures and unique perspectives into our home. But long before I became a host, I was an au pair in France myself, experiencing the adventure from the other side. These experiences—both as a host mom and as an au pair—have given me a deep understanding of what makes this exchange truly enriching for everyone involved.
Hiring an au pair can be a wonderfully enriching experience for your family, but navigating the process in France can feel daunting. Here’s a step-by-step guide to make it easier, based on my personal experience.
1. Is Hosting an Au Pair Right for Your Family?
Before diving in, make sure you meet the basic requirements to host an au pair in France:
- You need at least one child aged 3–18.
- Provide a private room for your au pair.
- The au pair’s duties should primarily involve childcare and light household tasks like tidying toys or preparing snacks.
- Commit to hosting for at least 3 months and allow your au pair time to attend French language classes.
For the au pair, they should:
- Be 18–30 years old (or 17+ for EU citizens).
- Be unmarried and without children.
- Have a basic knowledge of French and be ready to enroll in a language course during their stay.
- Be financially prepared to cover their travel costs to France.
2. Finding Your Match
When I first decided to become an au pair, I turned to AuPairWorld, where I found my very first host family. After that contract ended, and it came time to find my second match, I decided to go through an agency. Both experiences taught me a lot about the different ways to connect with families—or au pairs, if you’re the one hosting. Here’s what I learned:
Au Pair Agencies
Agencies can be a great option if you’re looking for extra support. They do charge a fee, but they guide you through the entire process, from finding a match to handling paperwork and even checking in after your au pair has settled in. It’s like having a safety net, which can be reassuring, especially for first-timers. They can also work as a mediator if you should have any problems with the au pair relationship.
Online Platforms
If you prefer a more DIY approach, websites like AuPairWorld, AuPair.com, and GreatAuPair are fantastic resources. They let you search for au pairs and manage the process yourself. It’s budget-friendly, but you’ll need to invest time into creating a standout profile and messaging back and forth.
No matter which route you take, crafting a detailed family profile is key. Share what makes your household unique—your routines, values, and even those little quirks that make your family, well, yours. When I filled out my profile, I tried to paint a picture of what daily life looked like, from our family dinners to weekend outings. It’s these details that help potential au pairs imagine themselves in your home, making the matching process smoother and more genuine.
The volume of applications can be a lot. Writing a thorough profile will help some au pairs to also opt-out if they think it’s not a match. Every family is different, and so is every au pair. The beauty lies in finding the right fit that turns into a meaningful exchange of culture, care, and connection.
3. Questions to Ask a Potential Au Pair
Once you’ve identified candidates, it’s important to ask thoughtful questions during interviews. Here are some examples that I like to ask:
- Do you like kids? (It seems like an obvious question, but it’s not.)
- Tell me about some of your experiences watching children.
- Have you been to France before?
- What are your long-term goals and what do you hope to get from this experience?
- Do you know any French?
- Have you lived on your own before?
- Have you lived with people before? How would roommates describe you?
- Would you describe yourself as more introverted or extroverted?
And don’t forget: Check their references thoroughly to get a clearer picture of their experience and character. This part is very important.
4. The Hiring Process
Once you’ve confirmed a shortlist:
- Screen candidates thoroughly. Arrange video calls, ask about their childcare experience, and check references.
- Draft an Au Pair Contract. This agreement (called a Convention de Placement Au Pair) should outline duties, hours (up to 25/30 hours per week), pocket money (typically €320–€373.50 per month), and language class arrangements. You can find a sample au pair contract here.
5. Administrative Steps to Get Started
The au pair is responsible to setting the appointment and generally paying any fees with the visa application. Each country asks for different things, but to help speed this along, you can provide them with:
- Documents Your Au Pair Will Need to Process their Visa:
- Copies of Passports for the primary caregivers in the household.
- A copy of your Livret de famille for French families.
- A copy of the working contract in French and/or a copy of the Cerfa Form 15973*01 – signed by both parties
- Proof of address (justificatif de domicile: energy bill or tax documents).
6. Other Tips and Required Documents
The paperwork varies slightly depending on whether your au pair is from the European Union (EU) or outside the EU:
For EU Au Pairs
- Register with URSSAF: Within 8 days of their arrival, register your au pair as a stagiaire aide familial étranger at your local URSSAF office. This allows them to access France’s social security system, and gives them healthcare coverage during their stay. Use Cerfa Form 11469*03.
- Enroll them in a French course: This is mandatory and helps them to fully immerse in the experience, and also to make some new local friends!
For Non-EU Au Pairs
- Secure a long-stay visa: Non-EU au pairs need a visa de long séjour.
- Register with URSSAF: Follow the same process as for EU au pairs (above) using this form.
- Validate their visa: After arrival, validate their visa online within 3 months via France Visas.
7. Make It a Positive Experience
Here’s how to ensure your au pair feels at home. I have done this for our au pairs, by creating an “Au Pair Manual”, which includes all important contacts and addresses and outlines a typical day with our family.
- Set clear expectations early. Share your family schedule, emergency contacts, and household routines. My “Au Pair Manual” outlines our house rules and expectations.
- Create opportunities for bonding. Encourage your au pair to join family outings or share meals together.
- Celebrate cultural exchange. Ask them to share recipes and to teach you about their traditions. Support them in learning about French culture.
8. Start Early and Stay Organized
Finding the right match and completing the necessary paperwork can take weeks (especially for non-EU au pairs). Start your search early to avoid feeling rushed. For summer au pairs, we usually try to line things up at least three months before the end of school break. You’ll get better candidates if you look when the competition is low. We found two of our all-time favorite nannies in January!
I hope that by following these steps, you’ll be well on your way to hosting an au pair and enjoying a rich cultural exchange that benefits your whole family. If you have any questions or need more tips, feel free to reach out—I’m here to help!
